Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
