Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish you could order shots online.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
