Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize