i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
