It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
