You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
