There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
