remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
