I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
