That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
