Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
