i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's never too late to be topless.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
