: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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