Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
