This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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