does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
