i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
