Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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