As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
