hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
