even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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