its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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