Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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