My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Who died my cat blue again?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
