somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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