i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
this will be a night to untag.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize