Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
