My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
