you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
