come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
