yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
