Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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