I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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