So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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