I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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