did you get engaged???
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
