so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
