My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I am available for nakedness
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
