he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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