Can Purell be used as lube?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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