it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
