We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
