I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize