saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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