apparently the secret to your success is patron
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize