it's too hot outside to masturbate.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
