I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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