So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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