Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
is it fun? or sober?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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