She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
