i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize