I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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