Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
