He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
