what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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