u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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