forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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