Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
