We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
