Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
