I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
