i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
