I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
try to milk me bitch
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