I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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