I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
